Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Desert Island, Population: Jenny

Once you start thinking about this shit, I have discovered that it is really hard to stop. Disclaimer: The following are liable to change at any time, according to degrees of hungoverness.

One type of food
- Italian. A life without pizza isn't worth living.

One band's discography
- The Beatles. Although Zappa is a close second. Zappa is a close second for my only person pick too, because we could just make lots of babies and play what the fuck is Zappa gonna name them, but he is so crazy I feel like he might up and stab me with a bamboo shank in my sleep. And did you know this fun fact? "During his childhood Zappa was often sick, suffering from asthma, earaches and sinus problems. A doctor treated the latter by inserting a pellet of radium into each of his nostrils." Uh, I'd probably name my kid Diva Thin Muffin Pigeen too.

One movie - Tommy Boy. I don't even know why I own other movies.

One TV show - The Simpsons. Duh.

One person, dead or alive - Since Paul Rudd is off the table, I am gonna go with Chris Farley. He is so goddamn funny and since we're the only people around, no one can call me a chubby chaser. Although it might be weird to watch "Tommy Boy" over and over with him. Fuckit, Paul Rudd for me too.

One book - The Bible! Sike, I can't read.

One condiment - Doritos are a condiment right.

One booze - Vodka. A good kind, not Georgi paid for with change I found in my couch cushions.[Sidenote: About six years ago, one of our good friends (we'll call him "Andrew") was in college and therefore broke. But, much like Shanon & I, he didn't let this minor detail deter him from boozin. At one point, the only money he had was in change form. He went to the liquor store, bought a five dollar bottle of Georgi and paid for that shit in nickels. The best part is, upon his return, his friends were waiting for him in his dorm room to get their INTERVENTION going. True story.]

One animal - Helper monkey. He would climb trees and get me coconuts and catch fish and mix me cocktails and I would train him in knife throwing and/or fights in case we ever got off the island and wanted to start a monkey knife fight ring or just keep my drunk friends on their toes. Wait, why don't I have one already.

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