Wednesday, October 28, 2009


So I came back from lunch to find that the Candy Corn fairy paid a visit to my office! Man do I love me some Hallowang. I rarely eat candy, due to my serious dislike of brushing my teeth and dentists. Last time I went (two years ago) the dentist told me I had eight cavities, but I heard that the little ones fill themselves in. What a quack.

Unfortunately, not all candy is created equal. These are some of my most be-loved candy varieties and some ones that you couldn't pay me to eat, even if they were being fed to me by hot ghost celebrities like Patrick Swayze or Corey Feldman's career.

Reeses Pieces. These are my favorite, they beat the balls offa M&M's which is just chocolate dipped in yay, more chocolate. Snoozeville. Peanut butter, on the other hand, gives that chocolate shell a much needed tasty kick to the sack.

Snickers/Baby Ruth/Peanut Chews. These can all be lumped together cuz they are all equally delightful. Chocolate and peanuts go together like me & sandwiches, or necrophilia & an undertaker.

Starburst. So good, although I sometimes lean towards Mambos, when I am feeling aristocratty.

Candy Corn.
Will eat these until I barf. I may or may not have done this before. The classic shape is best though, no pumpkins or weird colors for me, thanks.

Good & Plenty. Boy, I love it when my candy tastes like...licorice. This candy tastes like things I have failed at in life.

Three Musketeers.
You know how everyone has that annoying friend that always manages to show up to the party who no one is really crazy about, but you'll talk to if you get stuck alone in the kitchen with them while freshening your drink? Meet Nougat.

Necco Wafers.
Mmmmmm, chalk.

Mary Janes. This little bitch ripped one of my braces off in the seventh grade and I am still not over it.

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