Thursday, October 1, 2009

Gay Makeouts

Don't get excited, I'm not talking about making out with girls since I am not a lesbian, I just play one on TV. Although I did text my friend Leslie last night that I would do Terry from "Just One Of The Guys" when she was a man OR woman. But for now, I'm talking dudes I made out with that managed to sneak under my gaydar. Tricksy gheyz.

1. One time I made out with this hot dude at a party and he asked me out. We went to eat, then back to his place (which was on like 106th Street, shocking how far I will travel for sexy time). At his apartment, I was a little spooked out by the decor, which resembled a Jersey housewife circa 1947 and also how into his Boston Terrier he was, but regardless, we began to break out the makeout. Things started getting nekkid, and that's about when I noticed dude had a belly button ring. With a blue gem on it. Think I set a record for putting my pants back on and my excuse was the Oh Shit, I Left The Iron On variety.

2. A dancer at Urge. This is a gay bar and by dancer I may mean stripper. Okay, in hindsight, this one is probably my fault.

3. Andrew's ex-boif. Met this dude at Lit and was all hey, he looks like Michael Ian Black, I should try and make a baby or two with him. So we made out, then about a week later he started dating Andrew and they were scared to tell me. I'm not sure why, since I really wasn't trying to date no mo, but they eventually moved in together right next door to me and my then-boif, so it was all good. It was menage-a-weird for a minute there though.

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