Wednesday, October 7, 2009

I Think I Might Be A Cougar

Last night I was riding home and as I got to my house I saw what I thought was a cute man, bending over his skateboard saying "Fuck fuck fuck!" like he forgot his keys. He was standing in the doorway of the apartment next door to mine which I know just got some new blood in there the other week. So of course I thought to myself, "Ooooh cute new neighbor who's locked out and in need of some neighborly hospitality!"

As I was about to go inside my house I said to him, "Are you locked out?" He finally looked up at me, and low and behold it's clearly a teenager who said he had left his wallet somewhere and that he was "cool, but thanks." Damn you young Brooklyn-born boys and your uncannily good sense of style and skateboarding obsessions. It's totally making me question my morals, as in, what if a hot young dude put the moves on me, told me he was 19 then it was revealed that he was, in fact, statutory-rape age? Answer: Meh.

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