Friday, November 20, 2009

I'm Turning Into My Grandpa

9 times out of 10 I am late to work in the morning because of a shoe-related quandary. This is pretty pathetic because I basically own the same 3 pairs of shoes but in slightly different colors. This morning it was "Oh noes, do I wear the brown Wallabees or the other brown Wallabees? Or maybe the tan Wallabees?!" Seriously, this is what goes on in my head.

My grandpa used to buy at least two of everything but I always chalked this up to the fact that he was a Navy man with an identical twin. I, on the other hand, have no excuse for owning 4 pairs of Vans, 3 pairs of Clarks, 3 pairs of near identical Chukkas / dessert boots, and 4 different kinds of Oxfords. And aside from the Vans, all of my shoes are either black or brown.

To make matters worse (or more hilarious, if you will) TWO days this week I have matched shoes with a dude I work with. Yesterday we were in a meeting and one guy said "Oh hey, Roger [name has been changed], what kind of shoes are those?" And Roger goes "Well I believe they're the same shoes Shanon has on."

In short, I'm an old man trapped in a the body of a 27-year old lady. Here's what I'll look like in old age... or maybe tomorrow.

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