Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Sports, A Breakdown

Here are my favorite sports in order of hot boys. Yes this post has taken me all day.

1. Soccer. Sha-wing! This sport is off the hot charts. Just look at some of my favorites here, Michael Ballack, Jens Lehman and Steven Gerrard. Don't ask me how I know these guys. My nerddom knows no bounds, and that includes random sports in remote and exotic locations such as "England" and "Germany." Seriously though, I've had a boner for Steven Gerrard since I was 20.

2. Football. Tom Brady alone makes the entire sport boi-oi-oing worthy. What did ladies do before him, I wonder? I don't recall Joe Montana being that smokin...

3. Quidditch. JUST KIDDING, this is not a real sport, you see. Still... the actors who portrayed these players are quite attractive. Here we have Cedric Diggory (played by what's his face, that dude on the panties) and Victor Krum. I'd gladly make a Shanon-sandwich with these two.

4. Hockey. I don't know anything about this sport and I wouldn't know any famous players if they bit me in the ass, raped me in an alley, or bought me a drink at Max Fish. I like the idea of missing teeth though, so this sport comes in at numero 4.

5. Baseball. These guys are all fat and lazy, right? I'm totally into that! But lookie who I just discovered. Well hello Phillies pitcher, Cole Hamels. David Wright's not so bad either, but in general I find baseball boring as fuck and it's players totally predictable, steroid-enhanced weiners who prefer to find women at the local (strip) club. Snap.

6. Basketball. Dead last I'm afraid. I get the distinct impression that all basketball players are prima donnas who don't know how to dress themselves and have really terrible taste (hence the reason why one of them is marrying a Kardashian).


  1. With you on Steven Gerrard. The Liverpool accent is cute too. You might like this, where he talks about falling in love. With his boots. Sure, this reveals him to be somewhat gormless, but you can't have everything.

  2. goddamn cole hamels is such a fucking babe. too bad he talks like a total wiener. the high pitched voice + dumb jock speak= how do you say, boner kill? plus, he's got one of those bitchy little white fuzzy dogs that he carries in a gucci dog backpack.. how do you say, boner assassin?