Thursday, November 12, 2009

What's Cookin'

It is a well-known fact amongst our friends that I cannot cook for shit. This never really bothered me, since I am lazy and like eating food more than making it, but Shanon's annual Friendsgiving is coming up and when I asked what I should make, she said, "Napkins, plates & cups." Right. When I objected, she sent me a recipe for some corn side dish bullshit that I think a one-armed Special Ed. kid could probably whip up. I politely declined and am now bringing a cheese plate. And a mess of wine, because if I can't be Top Chef at this shindig, I'ma gun for Top Drunk.

But guess what, you wouldn't be too stoked on cooking neither, if your fridge looked like this. I took this picture in May, after one of my friends called me out on how sad it was.
Navigation tips:

1. If you see a carton of milk, never, ever drink it before checking the date. Ever.

2. Ooooh the wine looks tasty, but don't drink that either! I finally tossed it last week, after Shanon reached for it as most people do when they open my fridge. I have no idea why any of my friends think there would be a bottle of perfectly good un-drank booze just chillin out in my apartment. Have they met me?

3. It would be un-wise to open any of the drawers.

4. Don't drink my Rize or Four Locos.

5. You should probs steer clear of that mystery brown spot, which I have still been too lazy to clean.

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