Thursday, December 3, 2009

Don't Belong

Shanon just sent me an interesting photo from her youth, that her elementary school soccer coach posted on Facebook. It almost made me spit my water out all over my computer, but then my laughter was silenced by how creepy I think it is that he put that pic on at all and is Facebook friending the former young girls he used to coach. Some people just do not belong on the Facebooks, such as:

Parents. Yeah I get that the baby boomers are catching on to the internets and I'm sure if I were an old I would be all up in Facebook's sack too, but in no way do I want any of my parents to be my Facebook friend. I just had to de-tag a photo of myself from Turkey day because, as my friend Mike put it "I can see booze pouring out of your eyeballs." The last thing I need is my Dad's two cents on every single move I make. I commented on my buddy Dan's post, calling him a vagina, and his Mom (who I know) commented right beneath me. Awkward dot com.

Employers. Both my bosses and I have an unspoken agreement to never ever friend request each other, even though we are all well aware that everyone's a member.

Pets and/or Babies.
These guys bring nothing to the table. Plus I have a sneaking suspicion that adults are behind this anyways.

Former Teachers. It's fine for them to be on the book, but leave me the Christ alone. I'm sure you're all sorts of curious to see what has sprouted from the seeds of knowledge you've sown into my young mind, but this is not a two way street, Professor. Besides, if I was a teacher, I would probably catch a case of the sads, looking at what some of the winners I went to school with are doing with their lives.

Chicks Who Get Married And Now Have Two Last Names.
Just fucking pick one. You don't need two. Unless you're marrying Mr. John Penisfart, ditch your last name or stick with the one you were given. Like Highlander says, "There can only be one."

1 comment:

  1. you followed up the word 'Penisfart' with a Highlander quote. this is groundbreaking work. loves