Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Chicks I Respect But Could Never Be Buddies WIth

I saw this post on Street Carnage the other day and am jumping on that wagon. There are numerous people whom I respect (artistically speaking) but would never want to hang out with lest I would end up beating them to death.

Lady Gaga
I'm not gonna lie that I think her music's tight. Plus she writes all that shit herself, which is practically unheard of anymore among female pop musicians. Talent, I believe is the legitimate word for what she has. But man, if I ever had to hang out with her I would probably kill myself. If I took her to a house party she would show up in those crab claw high heels with a garbage bag for a dress and netting over her face. Then she'd talk about asphyxiation and big dicks all night as though anyone in their right mind would actually want to fuck her. No, doing anything in public would definitely be out. Just look at this chick here, she is clearly terrified and they're just walking down the street.

Sinead O'Connor
She so crazy! I could never invite this chick to my house cause she'd just talk about how the Roman Catholic church is full of Nazis. And you know if she was hanging out with me and my buddies she's do something weird and/or gross that would probably involve tampons. She's a total wild card and not in a funny It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia way. But shit, "Nothing Compares" is one of my top 10 favorite songs of all time.

Kirsten Dunst
Drop Dead Gorgeous and Bring It On? Clearly two of the best movies ever created by man. And Kirsten Dunst was so good in both of them! She's like a muse, really. But hang out with her? No fucking way. I saw her at an SNL after-party once. We were both outside smoking a cigarette and I thought she was gonna flick hers in my eye. I'm sure she could drink me under the table, which is cool, but then she'd probably spend all night telling me about which hot musician she spent the last weekend with, having sex and eating burritos no doubt, and I'd have to kill her.

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