Monday, December 14, 2009

It's Official, I Am Adopted

Syke, I wish! But seriously it would really be the icing on the cake to the miserable mother-daughter relationship I've got going on. On Saturday I received a package from said woman. Inside of it was a fuzzy pink scarf, a fuzzy pink hat, a portable CD case with the word "love" written on the front, $20 to Barnes & Noble, and $50 in cash. I called her back, stunned, only to find out that this box full of monstrocities was meant to be my Christmas present. It was December 12th, nothing was wrapped and there wasn't even a note.

I told her in no uncertain terms to please refrain from buying me clothes anymore and did she think I was 15? I am almost 28. My favorite color is black. I haven't purchased a CD in well over 5 years. I came out of this woman's vagina? Dear Santa, for Christmas I would like to find out that I was adopted. This would make my life so much easier. Thank you.

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