Friday, December 4, 2009

Mr. Nazi

Heeeey look, I'm back. I was waiting until I had something really good to post and the realization that I've been called several different types of Nazi was just the ticket to get me back in the game.

Jenny was boo-hooing to me the other day after Nicky, Chris and myself called her uptight, a prude, a sleep-farter and someone who can dish it but not take. Sure we said these things all in the course of one evening, but try being compared to Hitler! He once said to Eva Braun, "All you worry about is what dress to put on, I have bigger problems on my mind." Thank you History Channel, that's exactly how I feel.

Blog Nazi - Jenny called me this last night when I tried to set some ground rules about the blog. She knows what they are and what she did to deserve das boot.

Turkey Nazi - I was dubbed this after telling Blair he was not allowed to bring muffins to my Friendsgiving. My exact response was, "Who the fuck brings muffins to a dinner party? Just bring booze." Nothing Nazi about that, in my opinion.

Food Nazi - This is obviously similar to the one above but more general. I've been called this several times, quelle surprise! I get a wee case of the fascismitus when it comes to food and dinner parties. One time I invited my friend Anthony over for dinner, knowing full well that he's the non-pork-eating type of Jew. I cooked a pork roast and it was delicious.

Book Club Nazi - I can't help it if I have opinions, ok? This was my email response to the last book club suggestion:

I FUCKING HATE A TREE GROWS IN BROOKLYN

Seriously. Hate. I refused to finish it
in high school.

If you guys want to read it I'll sit this one out
.

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