Friday, January 29, 2010

Missed Connection

Getting a Missed Connection is something I recently decided to add to my bucket list, since there should probably be things on there other than fried foods I would like to eat. I find missed connections hilarious and I really want one, but if I guess in order to get one you have to check that shit on the regs and I am too lazy and forgetful to do that, so yesterday morning I decided to post my own.

I was on the train going to work when I noticed this dude on my right, reading a book who kept looking up at me. He was reading "The Russian Debutante's Handbook," a good novel that I have read a few times. Around four o'clock, I got bored of doing my real work and started thinking it would be funny to post a missed connection and simultaneously ruin the ending of the book for this dude. I would be all kinds of P.O.'ed if someone did that shit to me! So I went for it.


Then I got excited as a kid on Christmas morning and waited for the responses to start rolling in. And they did. All two of them.

The first:
I'm not the guy, but I enjoyed the re-cap. Do you live in Wburg?


Sam

And the second, from "MaxymumSpyder@aol.com" (I'm not fucking kidding):
hi, got pic?

I don't think "Sam" really grasps the concept of a missed connection and I wanted to send him an email explaining, but there is no way I want either of these nutty fuckers to have my email address, especially since "MaxymumSpyder" is most definitely a murderer and has probably made an appearance or two on "To Catch A Predator."

In the meantime, I will continue to make crazy rape eyes at strangers on the streets and subways, with the assistance of my new glasses that I decided I should be wearing all the time, after giving the sex eye to a cute dude with short black hair the other day who turned out to be a tall lezbo. Or Maybe I should just give up and start checking the women seeking women section. Meh.

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