Thursday, February 4, 2010

Boner of the Day

Apple store employees. I have been championing the rise of the sexy nerd for sometime now, and this whole movement seemed to come to a head when I visited the Apple store the other day. I walked in and was met with three iBoners, if you will, a chick and two dudes. My instinct was to go for the men since we all know women can't even program electronic devices, let alone fix them (kidding, some of us can totes do "math" I'm sure) but I ended up getting paired with such a fox that I think I heard that "Aoooga" noise that cartoons make when they pitch tents. He had tattoo sleeves and hot-for-teacher glasses and I could barely explain what was wrong with my iPhone, since I was too busy daydreaming about riding sidecar on his Bonercycle and double-dog-daring him to fix my phone shirtless. And then when I went back to get the actual repair done, the chick who helped me turned out to be a nerdy piece of eye candy herself!

To this I say well played, Apple, the persons you choose to employ more than make up for that bonerkiller you call an "iPad" and next Christmas, my letter to Santa* will be very politely asking them to install a bar at each location, financed by the business I will be giving you since my iPod/phone/mac can't seem to stop malfunctioning for reasons unrelated to me breaking it.
*Steve Jobs


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