Monday, February 1, 2010

Getting It Together

I'll be 28 in less than a month and I need to make some changes. Here's a short list:

1. Eat proper dinners. Last Friday I ate Doritos for dinner then proceeded to get wasted and smash my face. To be fair it was frigid out and my hands were in my pockets, thus rendering my drunken body completely venerable to pavement. I have a black eye but a mouth full of intact teeth. Silver lining! Anyway, dinner is extremely important.

2. Stop reading Chris Nieratko. One sure fire way to never get my shit together is to continue reading Vice contributor, Big Brother editor, and all around insane horny asshole, Chris Nieratko. I need to grow up and re read Harry Potter or at the very least a 600-page analysis of the battle of Stalingrad.

3. Listen to Beyonce more. This is just common sense. Beyonce is the epitomy of class. See below for photos of what Shannie is the epitomy of.

4. No more eating cookies for breakfast. For realsies today is the very last day I eat a cookie for breakfast. Even if they are free. It's all about self-control.

5. Get some extra-curricular activities. At the very least I need to start taking a pickling class so that my after-work activities include more than use of recreational drugs and watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

6. Immediately start making a shit ton of money.


(Since the taking of this photo my eye has turned black.)

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