Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Happy Valentimes

While waiting in line for the elevator today after grabbing lunch, a guy walked into my building behind me and about two seconds later said "Jenny? Do you remember meeting me Sunday night?" Of course the answer was no, silly human! Then I slowly remembered him coming up to me at the bar and saying he recognized me from the office building we share. Since I had been drinking for roughly ten hours (at a Valentine's Day Erotic Photo Hunt tournament no less) when I bumped into this guy, at the time I am sure that I was pretty fucking stoked. In the elevator today, ehhh not so much.

Talking in elevators is kind of the worst. Small talk is not my strong suit and I never like situations where you are forced to come up with conversation for a specific amount of time and elevators are especially awkward because you don't even have interesting things to look at or talk about. You can't talk about the other people in the elevator since they're standing right next to you and so you're pretty much left with these topics:
1.Weather (It's so hot/cold/windy/beautiful out! The weather forecast was wrong/right again! Supposed to get more rain/snow/storms this week! Kill me.)
2.How tired you are (Save this one for 9am or 6pm)
3.What did you get for lunch (This one gets a pass, I will always talk about food)
4.What you did on the weekend (Hate this one, if I told people what really transpired on my weekends they would be appalled and I'm also a terrible liar, so I make up something really tame and base, like "Saw a baseball game, that was cool. Go Mets!" What I don't mention is that we got so drunk we did drugs then fell down the bleachers and/or went skinnydipping after and had all of our clothes stolen. But I usually end up saying something weird anyways, avoidance of eye contact and forced laughter ensues.)

What I'm getting at here, is that now instead of happily ignoring dude like I have been for the past two years, I can look forward to many more awkward convos in confined spaces like the one we had today. Did I mention that I also have a battle wound from Sunday night (a small cut on my upper lip, acquired in the Valentines spirit) that now just looks like I have the herps? Yep.

I recently broke up with the last friend I met in my elevator, so maybe this is just the universe's way of resetting the balance. Or letting me know that it's high time for some of this:

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