Tuesday, March 16, 2010


Right now I'm in Dallas. It's 6:09 am, which is actually 4:09 am San Francisco time. I've had 3 hours of sleep and am currently in a state of delirium I've never experienced before. Quite a lot has happened in the last four days - I hung out on a boat, I sang karaoke, I met with some clients (no hooker), I went to some kooky old lady crafts fair, I went to the Academy of Sciences, I saw some dope birds, I told someone mid-bone that they're boning ability stunk (I might regret putting this one in after I've slept), I got drunk a whole bunch, and I ate more food than I physically thought possible.

I've eaten so much food, in fact, that I am literally fucking over food. All I want for the next 24 hours is juice and cigarettes. Am I crazy? Shrugs. But before I get on another plane, I'd like to share the funniest and best food review I've ever heard, said by my buddy Suzanne after lots of booze, whilst eating a giant burrito at 3am.

"Only 3 things make me close my eyes instinctively - making out, giving a guy a good blow job, and eating a burrito. I fucking love burritos."

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