Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Still Good

I recently heard the saying for the first time, "It's like sex and pizza; even when it's bad, it's good" and starting cracking up, since this phrase could be the Mayor of Funny-Cause-It's-True Town.  Sex & pizza ARE always good, minus the one time in Montreal when I paid .75 (Canadian) for a slice and that shit was god-awful. Seriously Canada, I love you and your poutine and your Degrassi, but that slice made me want to time travel back to 1982 and hand my Mom a coat hanger.

But then I thought of other things that are still good, even when they're "bad," including:

Sushi. Hear me out - I am a mondo pussysaurus when it comes to eating raw fish, so I tend to stick to avocado rolls and Inari and shit and I have absolutely no problem getting them from a deli or Nobu.  And half-price sushi? That is my jam! I've also learned that enough saki can make anything good.

The Simpsons. This show is the backbone of my cartoon-watching regimen and uh huh, I know everyone's all "it jumped the shark so long ago" and it's "not funny since Conan left" and all that other shit and do I prefer "Family Guy"? Meh beh, but I still fucking love The Simpsons and always will. Even when it's a Lisa episode.

Massages. I don't recall ever asking someone to stop massaging me, even if they are not a profesh masseuse and I am not on ecstasy. Massages are great, I am terrible at giving them but really, really good at getting them, thanks to years of practice.

Pot. As with sex, do I prefer it to be good? Yes. Am I gonna turn it down? Nah. You never really know if it's gonna be bad pot or porking until you give it the old college try. If either of them is not all they're cracked up to be, don't cry yourself to sleep over it, just walk it off and hey, better luck next time. Even if you're not "high" you're stoned, so go YouTube some cat videos.

Vampire movies. Okay, this was Shanon's answer when I posed the Still Good question to her. Another of her replies was "Severus Snape" and when I did not respond to that either, she said, "too deep?" Yes, Shanon. Your Harry Potter references are far too advanced for our readers. But sure, vampire movies, I guess I can live with that one. "Once Bitten" is pretty terrible, but I have definitely seen it two or eleven times.

Momma Jokes. Always funny. Always.

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