Thursday, March 25, 2010

Why I Hate Tex Mex

I need to clear the air for a minute on why the hell I hate tex mex so much. Did you guys see that recent episode of 30 Rock, "Future Husband?" Liz meets that British dude while drugged up in the dentist's office. Well in one of the scenes he goes, "Let's get dinner, do you like Tex Mex?" And she goes "No, let's go."

This is EXACTLY how I feel about tex mex. I'll eat it - but I don't like it!

My problem with this fake genre of food is 4 fold:

1. Queso. This shit seriously creeps me out. Everyone's all like, "But you love fondue, it's the same thing!" Wrong. I don't nuke up 15 slices of American cheese and call it fondue, mmmkay? Nor do I eat fondue with chips. That's so pedestrian. I have to give it to my girl Jacquie, though, she actually made me eat some good queso on my last day in Austin. It was solid cause it had tons of meat and accoutrements innit.

2. Tumbo problems. I'm not fond of turbo farts, are you? Tex mex is all cheese and fried tortillas and flavorless beans and more fried shit. Farts for days!

3. Bland city. As I mention in numero dos, it's all bland bland bland mixed with fried cheese. I have a refined palate. If I'm gonna get all good and loaded with farts, I want it to be from some quality meats and oysters and martinis.

4. Presentation. I like my food to look pretty, not like what it's gonna look like on the way out. Helllloooooo enchiladas.

Anyway, I'll still eat it, I mean, I don't turn away food. And those avocado martinis are aight.


  1. You just dont know where to get the dope shit... and taco bueno doesnt count...

    Hot Latin Kisses - Six (6) jalapenos stuffed with shrimp and cheese then beacon wrapped and grilled to perfection. Served with a cilantro sour cream sauce or jalapeno ranch dip.


  2. I hate tex mex too! I'm from LA where we eat real simple Mexican food. Where queso means shredded cheese and a beef taco doesn't mean you get a ground beef taco! This TEX MEX bullshit is a total deal breaker! I can't wait to move back to California! I also hate that ppl from Texas think tex mex is Mexican food! CUZ IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE! I'd rather eat taco bell than have tex mex!