I'm gonna go ahead and start up a new column in this bloggle of ours, called Bonerkiller of the Day, for shit that generally kills my boner. Today's BKOD is longboards.
I consider myself a lady that finds pleasure in the simple things in life; be it bagels & coffees from street carts, a $5 beer & whiskey shot combo, or a hot dude & his skateboard. Longboards straight up destroy that last one for me and this is a major bummer, since watching dudes skate is one of my most favorite past times. Why just this past Sunday, after Gandy and I had finished stalking my bike store boif, I suggested we go ogle some guys at the skate park. Unfortunately, this was short-lived, once he pointed out that only one dude was 18 in the bunch and even that was questionable, so we looked like creepy pedophiles.
But yes, longboards, fuck that. Shanon agrees with me one hundo percent on this and very aptly noted that dudes who ride longboards also tend to be wearing flip flops, adding insult to my already injured boner. Longboards are the faggy Laguna Beach equivalent to Hummers; they're dumb-looking, will make me automatically assume you're a douchebag, and are too big/have no place in this city.
And oh muh guh, I just found a whole site dedicated to this!