Thursday, April 15, 2010

Cartoon Boners

This is a retaliation-boner, in response to the teenage boy BOD shout out Shanon gave me earlier. She said the boy young man I found cute on Lost looked like Peter Pan and I said shit yeah, Peter Pan is hot. And she agreed! Vindication, she is mine. In general though, thinking a cartoon character is hot makes me feel funny. It's not wrong per se, but it's like looking at porn whilst at work; you wouldn't be that embarrassed if you got caught, but you still prolly shouldn't be doing it.

Here are my 2-D Boneroos:

Peter Pan. How could you not have a crush on Peter Pan when you were a kid. I unsuccessfully attempted to do my taxes last night and guess what Double P - I don't wanna grow up neither! And when he gives Wendy a "kiss" and it's really a button? Heartbreaking! Of course if he pulled that button bullshit now, I would probs roll my eyes and be all oh great, another homo caught in my fruit fly trap, who am I Shanon?

Tad Ghostal. Fellow nerds will know that by Tad Ghostal, I mean Space Ghost! Because that is his real name, you see. Not only does Tad have a banging body, he has a hilarious talk show that he makes fun of all my favorite nineties celebrities on and when he's not doing that, he's sitting around making fun of his friends. He's like a cartoon Conan O'Brien! I'm gonna go write Jenny Ghostal on all of my trapper keepers.

He-Man. Mehhhhh I don't wanna fuck He-Man. I imagine under that faggy blonde wig he's a nutty old drag queen and if his wig accidentally became disheveled while you were playing with his Sword of Power, he would start crying and run from the room screaming "DON'T LOOK AT ME!!" Plus I'm not into blondes.

Zelda. What's with the "Did I do that" face in this picture, Big Z? Did he just put his joystick somewhere he shouldn't have or what. But yes, elves are hot.

Tuxedo Mask. This is borderline creepy anime territory, but I had to throw Tuxo in here because one of my friends from high school was crazy obsessed with him. She may or may not be a 28 year old virgin.

Trent from Daria. Aw hell yeah, Trent. You can come brood down with me and the Dars any day. A ride in the"Trentmobile" sounds delightful! We can compare terrible nineties tattoos. Trent is more or less the reason I think me and the majority of girls my age enjoy dating slacker assholes so much. Thanks MTV.

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