Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Daily Beef

"Beggars can't be choosers."
Beggars can most certainly be choosers! My coworker had some left over chips from a free shipment which I got sent to the office, and when she gave them to me she was all like "You can't have the bbq or cheddar, here, you can have the parmesan garlic flavor." I complained about this, and rightly so. Who wants chips that taste like pasta? Guh-ross. I mean, I ate them, but I felt my outraged opinion deserved to be heard. Her response was "beggars can't be bla bla bla." God I fucking hate this saying. Her response should have been, "Look bitch, I had the foreknowledge to stash these babies away so now you're at my mercy." To that I would've said, "Well played, m'lady, well played." They actually were kind of tasty.

It's been slowly coming on, but today I finally aired my grievances toward muffins. My exact words to Jenny were "I've decided they're too plebeian for my tastes." She said she wanted to punch me, which I totally sympathize with - sometimes I want to punch me too! But you know what? Muffins suck. That's some fat people's food disguised as breakfast, right there. And simultaneously they remind me of anorexics. Which is weird, but follow me on this for a second. I know too many girls that nibble on muffins all day long, then when you ask them if they want to go get lunch of dinner they'll say, "I'm not hungry, I just had a muffin." Bullshit, I say!


  1. firstly, i fucking dig parm-garlic chips, were they pop chips? no matter, i have had them in pita, pop, AND kettle chips and them shits be tast-eee.

    secondly, i had a goddamn muffin for brekkie today. and yesterday.

    thirdly, wtf! stop calling me fat and come get your punch in the head.

  2. SO, The only really good muffins are blueberry muffins, that are not gigantic, Crispy and sugary crusty topped muffins on the smaller side and Hot and moist on the inside.

    everyone likes it hot and moist on the inside.

    or at least Jenny does, and I mean i do to. so that two.

    you may be eating so many muffins cause your a lesbian Jenny, dont forget that possibility.