Thursday, April 29, 2010

Ssssecrets

Here's one that's gonna knock some socks off, guess what errrybody; I DON'T PEE IN POOLS. There. I said it. Peeing in pools really grosses me out. Yes, I'm aware that there is chlorine up in it and I hear urine is sterile, but I am really not down with dog-paddling around in someone else's Golden Bath. I even get stage fright trying to take a leak in the ocean sometimes, where there's tides and waves to carry that shit away from you.

Chris and I were talking about how great it is when pools have bars and barstools built into them and I said, "Yeah! Cause then you don't even have to get out of the water to get a drink" and he said the same sentence only instead of "get a drink" he said "take a piss," literally peeing all over my pool party.

The worst and most flagrant case of this though, was when we did shrooms in Nicky's parent's pool last Summer. Now we were all tripping balls in this pool for a solid six hours or so and around hour number four, I began to wonder why I was the only one out of Shanon, Nick, Chris & George who had gotten out of the pool and walked in the house to go pee. Then I put two + two together and realized four people had been peeing in the pool the entire time. They all claimed the reason was because you "can't look at mirrors when you're on shrooms" hence not going to a real bathroom, but I called bullshit on these lazy fuckers. Normally, I would be like you guys are gross, whatever, but here's a little nugget of wisdom for those of you who have never  shroomed in a pool before; be prepared to swallow a fuckton of water. Now you see why I was "out of sorts," if you will. 

When I am rich enough to have my own pool or get tired of jumping fences to access my neighbor's, you can be damn sure that my pool will be filled with that chemical that turns piss water bright purple and anyone I find swimming in that current will be rejected immediately. Damn sure.

1 comment:

  1. i always heard that chemical that makes pool pee show up was a myth. which is why i let it flow. color me horrified the day i find out the hard way that it isn't.

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