Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Bonerkiller of the Day

Overalls. I was walking to the train the other day and saw a full-grown man wearing a pair of these and almost spit my gum out with laughter. After checking to make sure that I hadn't somehow accidentally been transported into the classic Rick Moranis film "Honey I Blew Up The Kid" and that this was actually a man and not a ginormous toddler, I started trying to figure out why this dude would decide to strap them on his body.

Was he a farmer? I would be willing to let this slide if I had passed this fella while driving to a country house upstate, but I saw him in the middle of the busiest city in the country and we are clearly nowhere the fuck near a farm. The green market wasn't even set up. I thought we had a deal with farmers; they  stay out of our suits and business meetings and we in turn, will steer clear of their hillbilly couture.

And hey ladies, don't go thinking you're getting a free pass on this one neither, since overalls look equally stupid on everyone. Well, there is one exception to this rule, super nineties overall shorts, preferably in a flowered or houndstooth print (such as the ones I purchased from the thrift store). The reason these are okay is because at this point, they're really more in jumpsuit territory anyway and few things bring me more enjoyment than a one-piece. This time around though, I think I'll be keeping both straps up and wear them frontwards instead of the Kriss Kross style fourth-grade Jenny favored.

But to re-iterate, if you are a man and I see you wearing these, you better be waving at me from atop the tractor you're plowing a field with. I wouldn't even dress my toddler in overalls since those straps and buttons seem like far more trouble than they're worth. 

1 comment:

  1. OMG. Ask anyone. Overalls on women are my complete irrational fear. Cringe inducing.