Yesterday was Mother's Day and since mine jumped ship for Florida, I didn't have any Moms around to take out to brunch. What I did have, was an empty liter of Old Crow, a heart-shaped balloon, and a pizza box of cookies that my friend had brought for me the night before, in exchange for letting him come over to take a shower at 3am. Hobo Code 4 Life.
But yes, after I finished the cookies and the awesome book I was reading, I was laying around in bed thinking about ninjas when I got an unexpected phone call from Blair...inviting me to a Mexican wrestling/burlesque show. Uhh, yes please. I'm going to apologize in advance for the crappiness of my photos, I only had my iPhone since the Coney Island stolen clothes/camera fiasco, so deal.
Let the Lucho Libre begin! This was the first guy up, I forget his name but I think it was Joe Ryan or something and he was a little chubs, a little hairy, and totally sleazy. How was I not supposed to fall butt-crazy in love.
Here's the picture I made Blair take of us at intermission. If it wasn't so dark, you could see me giggling like a little girl before I told him he smelled like baby oil and ran away. Eeeee!!
Strippy time! Burlesque has never really been my bag. Not that I don't like staring at boobies and watching buns shake, because I do, but it feels too forced or something, like people who dress "rockabilly" all the time. This chick was awesome though, she had a nutty chiquita banana thing going on and was doing jumping jacks that landed in splits. And she had some Tig Ol Biddies too! I mean, them thangs are gonna be down to her knees in about three years, but for now, on with the show, gurl.
These guys ruled, they were a tag-team dressed like chickens, hopped around on their butts and every time they did a cool move this crazy brain-scrambling raver music would play and the lights would flash and give everyone seizure-boners. They were fighting these other two wrestlers that I sadly don't have any pictures of and whose costumes were basically "White Trash." An actual "move" by one of them was crapping his pants. Then he took off his wifebeater, wiped the "poo" from his ass, and rubbed it in one of the chicken's faces while the MC made the best joke of the night; "Someone's about to get shitfaced."
This girl had dumps like a truck and she straight up shook her ass for five minutes. I was hypnotized.
Okay, okay, so then my favorite part happened; this midget (dressed up like a chicken)
Fought in a tag-team match versus this midget (dressed up like a baby Stegosaurus/Godzilla)
The green one was obvy "evil" but I was rooting for him so hard because all dude did was flip the crowd the bird every chance he possibly got. Below is my favorite pic of the night - why you lookin' so sad, little chicken fighter midget? Maybe cause he knew that about two minutes after I snapped this he was gonna get picked up and thrown right the fuck off the stage!!
Karis work his (Her? Shim?) magic with his hulahoop... and afterwards watched Blair get molested by a drunk girl who thought he was Karis, because now I have not one, but two friends who look like this, you see.
Know what I realized? It is Halloween for these people like four nights a week, is this why I've had such a case of the Mondays? Because the most fun and/or important thing I have done today is have a chat convo with Shanon about which of our friend's farts are most lethal (you know who you are). I didn't wrestle any midgets and none of my officemates did any trapeze or hula hoop acts or even wore pasties. Fuckit, tomorrow I am showing up dressed as a skeleton-superman-glow-in-the-dark-darth-vader-wrestler. Which looks like this, bt dubs.
Yaaay! These guys...won? Maybe? I understand little about sports.
I enjoyed the little meet & greet they had at the end, it was like when you go to Medievil Times and all the knights come out for a quick dance party after the show. Awww. They think they're people.