Wednesday, May 5, 2010


I'm not sure how big of a secret this one is since I don't particularly try to hide it. "It" being that I am afraid of the dark. Aren't I almost thirty, you say? You betcha. I don't really know why this is either and the only explanation I can come up with is the Disneyworld ride, Space Mountain, which is really dark and terrified me as a child. About three years ago, I revisited Disneyworld and decided to show that ride who was boss and this time around I emerged with much less pee in my pants so the point goes to Team Jenny.
But yeah, I dunno why the dark makes shit scarier, it's just science. I don't see any ghosts roaming around on a sunny day when I'm out getting lunch or popping up in my yoga class and you know why? Because ghosts like the dark. Except maybe in "The Sixth Sense," but those were movie ghosts and don't count. It would be nice if the ghost who lives in my apartment was brewing up coffee and scrambling eggs for me in the morning but no, he likes to spook around in the middle of the night instead.

Know who else likes to nocturnal it up? Mice and/or rats. I mean, rats are creepy any time of the day (cough, cough Shanon, cough) but they tend to leave you alone during the day time, as do mice. One of my biggest fears is getting up in the middle of the night to pee and stepping on a mouse, as Blair did a few years ago. He used to live upstairs from me and I got a frantic phone call one night to come up right away. He told me to look in the trashcan and inside there was a mouse he had stepped on and mashed, while wearing only sockfeet. With that image forever burned into my brain, I usually opt to hold my pee until morning, rather than turn on and off the lights all over again to ensure this never, ever happens to me.

Speaking of bathrooms, I think this is where I'm most scared of being in the dark, for reasons unbeknownst to me. Once I went to use the bathroom at a Burger King in the city, without realizing the light was on a timer. After about 15 seconds it clicked off and everything went pitch black. Eventually I figured out what happened but let's just say it's a good thing I was sitting where I was at the time.

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