Thursday, June 3, 2010

Musings on Interns

Recently I've had a "fascination," if you will, with a few of my male interns. They're hot, they're obsessed with skateboarding, and they're both 23. Each of those on their own is already a boner, but all 3 together in not one but TWO boys?! Boner bomb. Ka. Boom.

Anyway I've been going out of my way to be "nice" to these guys at work. And by nice, I mean actually talking to them. I'm an older, obviously powerful woman, but I want them to think I'm just one of the guys, nah mean? So we smoke lots of cigarettes and talk about shooting guns and how rad Omar Salazar is. Some people might say I am not unlike a 23 year-old dude myself.

But so then this past weekend I had a chance to not only hang out with them at a party (getting drunk together, hello!) but to also invite them to my house. It was crazy. Crazy awesome! They came over and got to see how pretty and grown-up my house is. Point for Shannie. I had also just cooked dinner for some people so they got to see my culinary skills. Another point for Shannie. Then I smoked them out and we drank beers. Endless points for Shannie! I am clearly the perfect cougar girlfriend, am I not?

Cut to a few hours later at the party where I was 90% black out drunk. I ended up wrestling and putting one of the cute interns in a headlock. Clearly, I can not handle the younger mens.

So! I have since changed my tune on hot males interns. While it's totally enticing to think about being the older lady girlfriend who buys them fancy things (like weed), cooks them yummy meals, and takes them to all the cool parties, I'm just not cut out for it. In the end I will get wasted and treat them like my little brother. My new plan is to find a 30-35 year old rapper who can provide for me, and not the other way around. Lloyd Banks and Juelz Santana know what I'm talking about.

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