Monday, June 14, 2010

My Grandma is Awesome, Racist

So yes we forgot we had a blog but yes there were valid reasons (read: eating food and watching TV), but the most recent reason was that my grandmother was in town visiting. It was sweet! And annoying. Some might say she is a very hip old lady but she also has this way of forming hyperbolic opinions about things she knows nothing about. She also feels compelled to comment about every single thing she sees. Oh and she's racist.

Here are some choice Grandma observations that I was smart enough to write down:

"It was just clever! And it made me laugh." (About Momofuku Ssam Bar, I wasn't sure if this was about the food or Asians in general)

"Your friend Alex is so nice and the first young gentleman I've seen with dark black hair in a while!"

"Those four men just walked in and then walked right out. I wonder what their plans are."

"See that younger woman and the older gentleman? Do you think anything's going on there?"

"That box down there says 'fizzy lizzy!'" (Then she winked at me. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about)

"Oh look, a lot of Japanese men went into that restaurant. That usually means it's good."

Me: Noni, you see that? That's NBC Studios.
Noni: I had a great day.
Me: Are you drunk?

"I've never seen so many black people at a show before! What's this play called again?" (At Fela, the musical)

"What are those, car parts? Who decided this was art? I just don't get it." (At Dia: Beacon)

"So Jenny went away for the weekend with Nicky's boyfriend, but Nicky didn't go with them? Well isn't that funny." (She loves Jenny)

"Take the subway alone? I don't think so! What if someone sees a nice old lady by herself and thinks 'Maybe I'll get some money for kidnapping her?'"

"Everyone remembers you! It's because you're so pretty." (At Blue Hill, well she got that one right, thanks grandma)


  1. That is funny. Wish i could have met her. I heard about the time she told JEnny that she did not care for Jenny beacuse she thought she was talking to Nicky. Ha