Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Ssssecrets (Boner Edition)

The other day, Gandy and I were discussing dudes we want to bone, but don't want to admit to. Ssssecrets! Here goes:

Pauly Shore. Sure he probs only comes up to my boobs and hasn't done anything worthwhile since "Biodome" but know what? That movie fucking rules. As does "Encino Man" and "Son In Law." You would think the picture below would be enough to change my mind about wanting to do him. And you'd be wrong.


Jay from Degrassi. Woops! A Canadian, "bad boy," high school kid? Somewhere up in them three wrongs, a right got made. Me-ow.


The guy who was the last "Bachelor."  Don't ask me how I know who that is, I just know, and guess what? Dude be fine. And probably loaded. And I'm still too lazy to look  up his name.
Not that I would ever consider going on a show like this, as I am better suited to reality shows involving feats accomplished while blacked-out or amount of tacos eaten in one sitting, but I gots no qualms with being his side piece.


Then Gandy pulled such a good one out of the woodwork; Brian Austin Green. My response: "Totally." And now, get ready for a Ssssecret WITHIN a Ssssecret; I have never watched 90210! Not sure where I was during the entire run of this show, but fuck, I have never even seen a whole episode. But oh shit, get ready for a TRIPLE DOG SSSSECRET; I have watched the new 90210. I can barely type right now since I am so busy hanging my head in shame, but what can I say, Gossip Girl has made me its bitch for all shows CW.  And the ship has long since sailed on watching the original, that's like trying to convince a kid to ditch his Wiimote and play some Pong on Atari with you - not gonna happen. So let's all just take a moment of silence and give Brian Austin Green the secret boner salute he deserves.

1 comment:

  1. really disappointed right now. the original 902's is possibly the BEST show ever made. i spent much of my time upstate watching back to back episodes at 5 and 6 every week day. i've seen the entire series, front to back, twice. i'll fill you in next time i see you irl.

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