Wednesday, June 16, 2010

What's On My Mind Grapes

I am very hungover and can't form cohesive or logical thoughts but here are some things I've been mulling over today:

1. Cater waiters. I boned a super hot one last night (high five!) and that got me thinking-ish about how they must get laid all the time. Maybe instead of going to culinary school or becoming a pilot I should just get a job doing that. Then I would get all the dong.

2. That good Batman soundtrack. Was it Batman Forever or Batman & Robin that had U2 and Seal and all that shit. I can't really recall but my favorite Flaming Lips song was in the one with Jim Carrey. Fuck I am hungover and want to listen to Seal.

3. The cute dudes that work at my favorite sandwich shop. One of them gave me free mac n cheese today! He rung me up and was all "That'll be $15." To which I replied, "Are you out of your fucking mind? Take back my mac n cheese." So he took the cost off but then gave it to me anyway! If that dude wants to bone I am totally up for it. See boys? Give a lady free food and she's game for anything. Not backdoorsies though, never backdoorsies on the first date.

4. BBQ sauce. Mustard used to be my numero uno condiment but then the same cutie pie from the sammy shop suggested I put BBQ sauce on my egg n cheese. It was lovely and re-instilled my love for good sauce. That's right.

5. The Situation and the rest of the Jersey Shore. They became famous for nothing other than just being themselves. How inspiring.

6. This crazy hangover. I think it's a very bad sign that my hangover is only NOW getting to the barfy stage. That's supposed to happen on the subway ride to work and then I rush off at the next stop thinking I'm about to yak into a trash can. It's bad news that I'm only getting to this point in my hangover at 4pm. And on another note, perhaps I've finally figured out a way to beat the elusive hangover? Stay drunk constantly.

7. Showers. I really want one.

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