Hangover city. Population - Me.
Being hungover is nothing new, but what IS new is the level of awesomeness I took things to last night. After running an event, I took my drunk-ass to the after-party, bought a bottle of champagne, parked myself in a corner and then proceeded to be a heinous bitch. A RAPEY, heinous bitch.
My boss had to walk me out, give me my credit card (which he was holding onto) and put me in a cab. Then he had to go back inside because I "lost my phone" when it was actually in my purse. But I woke up to a text from him that said "If you find this phone, call xxx-xxx-xxxx, CASH REWARD." Then my other coworker handed me my debit card AND my ID this morning. Didn't even know they weren't on my person!
I don't remember anything from the bar, but yet another coworker told me I was a classic asshole and kept shooing people away with my hand. I have a drunk goggle crush on him, and some girl was all up in his shit, so me and my buddy told the girl that we had paid to reserve the table she was sitting at so she had to buzz off. CLASSIC.
This morning my boss said that when the waitress came over with my bill for $150 I couldn't figure out how to sign my own name and that she "wanted to skull fuck me." His words, not mine. Then he said I got rapey with all the young boys at our office, that if I were a dude I would've been arrested "for sure." If I had a nickel...