On Monday night, I planned on going for a run after work and then eating some kale and doing yet more work. What happened was I was at the office until 8:30, stopped at CVS to buy mouthwash and then somehow bought a giant bag of candy plus a sack o' candy corn. By the time I got home it was too late for kale, but not for watching Gossip Girl in my underpants, phew.
Since then my diet has consisted mainly of pinky finger sized candy bars and so I have decided to review one a day up until Halloween. That's four reviews! Or five? Math isn't my "thing."
First up; a Take Five bars, which have more or less taken Shanon's place, best friend-wise. In fact, let's compare the two.
Take Five bar: Had my first one just the other day and it blew my mind. How did I go 28 years without you, Take Five??
Shanon: Known for 10+ years. Allright, mind is still blown when she pulls stunts like this.
Take Five bar: Hershey makes this jam and they are located in my home state of Pennsylvania and they have a theme park with rollercoasters and shit.
Shanon: Hmm, I don't recall Shanon ever providing me with any rollercoasters at all. Well, one time she made me ride the cyclone at Coney Island and I think I bruised my spine. But Hershey Park's rollercoasters are super lame and it's located in East Amish Bumblefuck PA so this one's a tie.
Take Five bar: Five ingredients! Five! All delicious and T5BFF soothes me when I catch the hunger-grumps.
Shanon:Tells me to quit being a bitchy clam when I get hungry and doesn't understand that I NEED TO EAT A LOT OF FOOD ALL THE TIME. Okay, maybe she does. And she cooks delicious dinners sometimes. 'Nother tie.
Take Five bar: Listens to my great ideas, but doesn't bring much to the table.
Shanon: Awww, she supports my brilliant endeavors.
Or DOES she:
Take Five would never do that to me. To quote Dave Chappelle in Half Baked, "Abba Zabba, you my only friend."