Wednesday, October 13, 2010

No, I'm Not Dead

I just realized it's been at least two weeks since I contributed to this brog, but in my defense I was busy jet setting around the country to ...Lawrence, Kansas (more on this in a bit), then I got sick for a while, then I had to take a driving class, and THEN I had a bed bug scare which was like my own personal Al Queda terrorist shake-down for a minute there. Suffice it to say I do not have an infestation, but I can pee the bed all I want cause that shit be plastic wrapped now.

Anyway here are reasons why being sick for me, personally, is the poo.

1. Boredom. I get super bored being sick at home all day which inevitably leads to terrible things. Just last Friday I was SO bored that I decided to drag my nasty ass to the movies. That's right, I saw the Social Network by myself in my pajamas (I don't even think I put on a bra). But aside from that I also ate a carton of ice cream across the street from the theatre because the heart wants what the heart wants. And in this case my heart lead me to even more sickness cause dairy is no bueno for ill people. Afterwards I felt gross and decided to go to Barnes & Noble to buy myself a new fantasy novel. I then promptly texted Jenny and Nicky that I needed an intervention from myself.

2. Inevitably having to do things. I could care less about missing work when I'm sick because I always end up working form home anyway. But there are some things you can not miss when you're sick, like the 5-hour driving class I had to take. That was an experience not unlike being in prison. I actually ended up sleeping through most of it but at least now I'm finally qualified to get my license. Look out kids and slow old people, Imma hitchoo!

3. No one wants to take care of me. Where the hell is my grandmother when I need her? I want someone to baby my ass when I'm sick and since no one's in line for the job I usually end up getting motherly sympathy from my video lady when I stumble over there to rent Prince of Persia (I do NOT recommend this movie).

1 comment:

  1. Grrrrl, I cried at the end of Prince of Persia. NOTE, not because of the movie, but because Jakey is so damn hot, jesus! Anywho, you shoulda asked cause I owned that before it ever came out in the cinemas.