Smug pregnant chicks. Recently I was in the elevator with one of these, which prompted me to send the following text to Shanon;
Me: Do you sometimes feel prego ladies are smugger than most?
Shanon: All the time.
Me: You get me. So hard.
Real talk though, what they so smug about. I am the one who should be smug, because how many people am I carrying around? None. How many people are you carrying around Lady Bun In Oven? At least one! Maybe twins! I don't even like giving piggyback rides, so why do they act like they're one upping me. And guess what I am going to do now, prego malego, I'ma go get drunk. And maybe even fall down. What're you gonna do, go eat pickles? Okay, I love pickles so I'ma do that too. But I'll be damned if I remember doing it.
I saw an ad on the train this morning that was one of those "Please give up your seat to the elderly or disabled" and the picture was of an old dude and a pregnant chick standing in front of an empty bus seat, which I frankly found very confusing. Who gets the seat? It's a case of broken hip vs. broken baby. They both should get seats, I don't understand why the MTA wouldn't show a picture of some punk kid giving one of them his seat instead of making me go all Sophie's Choice on that shit. But I actually prefer standing (unless I am hungover) so the joke's on you Mommy-to-be.
My friend posted this video on her facebooks (and she got TWO kids) which sums up how I feel precisely and makes me glad that I am not alone.