Back! Oh, Florida. Since flying over the holidays is expensive and hard to coordinate, my family decided to celebrate Christmagiving last week. And a good time was had by all. The highlight of the trip was when I got to pick something for my parents and me to do while my brother and his woman went to a talk by Anthony Bourdain that I cared not for. So what did I pick instead? A modern dance performance at the Salvadore Dali museum of course! And apparently St. Petersburg, FL is not the place to see quality performance art. Who knew. Luckily, I had the smarts to have a couple vodkas beforehand and some wine during, so I was set. We then checked out the museum, which kinda rules and these pictures of my parents made the whole thing worth it.
Then I accidentally took my parents to a lesbian bar. To be fair, it looked completely hetero and after I picked up on the muff-dive vibe suggested we go somewhere else, to which my Dad replied,"Well when Shanon comes down with Gaymont- what's his name? (meaning Gandy) We'll take them there." Sweet double burn, Dad. Then I bought my Mom a whiskey sour and got her drunk ma lunks at a jazz bar. I basically ate a shit ton of food and booze on this trip and exercised very little. Yesterday morning my brother and I battled with those foam pool noodles for about 45 minutes and that was the most exercise I got in five days.
I had saved half a xanax for the plane ride back that disappeared at some point during the week. I can only assume one of my parents dogs ate since I had it in my pocket and then it was gone, so I demanded a Bloody Caesar from my Dad which I then took along in a to go cup for the ride to the airport, whilst sitting next to my Grandpa as he read the comics. And body scans? I felt like I was in goddamn Total Recall. Definitely needed to refresh at the airport bar after that, which led to a saucy plane ride during which I became best friends with the old dude sitting next to me. We gonna email. Think I freaked out his wife though, since she seemed confused at our comraderie but the joke is on you, trophy wife, as old balls interest me not.
Oh, and as always, here was the soundtrack of the trip: