Thursday, December 16, 2010

2011 Wellness Plan

The other day Chris and I were talking about New Year's resolutions and he said "I don't make resolutions, I make a wellness plan." And in case you're wondering, "wear slippers more" is an example of the things that are included on his plan. But I think it's a genius idea so I'm gonna make my own.

1. Never eat shitty food EVER AGAIN. I've already sworn off bodega egg and cheese sandwiches because they've disappointed me on one too many occasions. After this morning's bagel debacle I might have to add those to the list as well unless it's fresh out of the oven and put immediately into my mouth (that's what she said). I don't think it's too much to ask that everything I eat be the most delicious thing I've ever had.

2. Be hungover at work less often. Today I am the kind of hungover where my eyes are permanently at half mast and walking up stairs is difficult. I normally don't really care but when you actually have to do shit at work and you can't because you're so hungover that you're dumb? Nah, not into it.

3. Drink more wine. Last night at Gandy's holiday party I drank so many vodka sodas that the hot waiter started judging the shit outta me. Then I saw a dude drinking white wine and I thought "DUH!" Two glasses of that and I slept like a baby.

4. Try to be more like a dog. Nap, eat, walk around, that's it. I mean sure, I have to work to pay the bills, but in my spare time? Dog's life for me. A coworker summed it up best just now when he proclaimed, "Being a human is such a hassle." Preach.

5. Get one of those savings accounts everyone keeps talking about. This just makes sense. I guess. It'll my make my moms happy at the very least.

6. Listen to more classical music. No homo! We all know I love the shit. Plus it increases brain power. Then I won't feel so dumb when I'm hungover everyday. See my logic?

7. Get back to my roots. Like this song. Fuck I love the Three Musketeers movie.

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