The other day I told Jenny she's my most high maintenance friend which not only peeved her real good but also prompted her to proclaim that i was "way more high maint." Eye rolling cue. So now we are writing reasons why the other is more HM. Here are my reasons, which are actually more of an airing of grievances than anything else.
1. Laziest bitch I know yet expects everyone to bring her bagels and pizza upon demand. One time she even got pissed at Chris for not bringing her mushrooms when he, himself, was on them and at his house. That hussy would never deliver drugs for no one. ESPECIALLY if she was all shroomied out. "Captain Demando" should be her other nickname after "Jerk."
2. Talks a lot of shit on people who dook her but has no qualms with dolling out the dooks.
3. Won't let me borrow books but attempts to steal mine all the time. And she spilled water all over the last book I lent to her. Just plain wrong.
4. Whenever I show her something cool she tells me to give it to her.
5. Makes poor men decisions. And guess who has to listen to all the subsequent bitching? Shannie has to.
6. Told me the other day she bought a shirt that I would totally love, but then kept it for herself. That's almost worse than being an indian giver.
7. Stole my Reno 911 DVDs.
8. Doesn't eat meat. This is not so much a big deal to me as it is to, say, Nicky, but I hate cooking food without meat in it. I'm giving her cereal for our orphan Christmas dinner.
9. Calls my other friends who are not her, Nicky, or Chris, "snoozes."
10. In general is the only bitch I know who's bitchier than me. And this coming from the girl who last night told a guy to his face to please go away because he was wearing baggy jeans.