Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Nineties Fashion Ups & Downs

This morning I was late to work because I spent a solid twenty minutes trying to figure out how to wear these sweet nineties floral print high-waisted stirrup pants I scored in Florida, without looking like a pregnant librarian equestrian via '98. Let's just say I lost the battle, but not the war. In general though, I am a fan of the nineties resurgence and I know Shanon talked about doing a 90's clothing post awhile back and maybe she did (my memory, she's not so good) but here's my take, nonetheless.

Thigh highs: Thumbs up
Way up! These have become a slutty staple of mine. I wore them in the seventh grade and I loved them every bit as much then as I do now. Even wore em to work, after I was getting dressed and asked my slumber party buddy if they were too slutty to wear to the office and he said, "Not on Friday." Boom.

Miniskirt suits: Thumbs down
Again, seventh grade, but this is too "Clueless"-esque even for me. I want to be Cher & Dion for Halloween but in the real world, it just feels like a recipe for a rapin'.

Bootcut jeans: Thumbs down
For life.

Floral print: Thumbs up
I was walking down the street the other day past these two dudes whilst wearing my floral print dress and I heard one say to the other, "The thing about girls who wear floral print is-" and then they went into a store and I missed what it was and that shit has been driving me fucking bananas ever since. WHAT IS THE THING?!?? That we're awesome? Or slutty? Or can it be both? IS IT BOTH??!??

Rompers: Thumbs up
All my rompers or "one-pieces" if you will, are floral print.

Knitted hippy hats: Thumbs down
I saw a dude wearing one of these on the train and looked around to make sure I didn't accidentally wander into a Phish show and upon the discovery that I hadn't, spent the rest of the trip trying to stare hard enough at it and with enough hatred that it would catch fire. Didn't work, but maybe I will get a Missed Connection out of the ride, eeeeeee....

Doc Martens: Thumbs down
Ok, Shanon has a pair of fancypants new re-vamped Doc clog thingies and this may be the one scenario where two wrongs make a right because I will steal them jams from her the first chance she passes out drunk before me, but all other docs = hideous lesbian monster boots that make your feet look ridiculous and give me e-pill raver days flashbacks. Shudder.

Choker: TBD
My instincts say no, but I feel like I cannot in all honesty say I will never wear a choker again. Shrug.

Looney Toons clothing: I used to have so many LT t-shirts that I single handedly kept WB in business and my favorite was the one with Bugs & Taz dressed like wiggers wearing all of their clothes backwards a la Kriss Kross. Yeahhhhh. So I want to say thumbs down, but the other eve at the bar, Gavin pointed out a dude straight rocking a Yankees jacket with most of the cartoon cast embroidered onto the back of it. I fully expected to be disgusted, but instead found myself thinking, "Hello, old friend."

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