Friday, January 28, 2011

Sneaky Foods

Allow me, if you will to state my case against raisins. It's not so much the raisins themselves that bother me, as I will eat them plain from time to time, no problemo. As I told Shanon, it goes deeper than that. We then had the following conversation:

As I was saying, my problem is not with raisins themselves, it's that raisins are one of those foods that always show up, but is never invited to the party. Other foods in this category include: celery and bell peppers, which is why these foods top my most hated list. Just the other day I bought a muffin that had all the ingredients listed, oat bran, apple, bla bla bla. I start eating it and a raisin jump-kicked my tongue in the fucking face! Then I had to spend the next fifteen minutes picking them all out because no way is any food gonna tell me what to do. Same with celery being automatically included in all tuna and egg salad sandwiches and soups that I don't make myself and yet it's never listed as being an ingredient. And good ruck ordering a vegetarian dish from a Chinese restaurant that doesn't include red & green peppers. Even when I ask them to name every vegetable that comes in the dish, peppers never get listed so I guess one creates a diversion right before the chef puts the lid on my delivery container and the peppers slip into my takeout.

And there you have it. I never put any of those foods up my butt. I choose my choices, is all.

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