Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Boner of the Day

Stephen Dorff. Last Thursday night got weird, which I guess happens when you take a 100 proof flask of Old Granddad whiskey for a stroll over the bridge. Most of the night's events I thought I remembered, but when I went to look up something on my phone Friday morning and saw my last Google search was, "Where does Stephen Dorff live," a whole 'nother mess of memories came flooding back...including an attempt around 5am by me & Miles to find out where Stephen lives and be-friend him. I dunno whose idea this was, but I do remember having a conversation about him and how he really hasn't been up to much lately (Blade 3??) and that he probably lives in Brooklyn and has some time on his hands and would be way into being our friend. Why we concocted this plan while watching "White Men Can't Jump" is anybody's guess. Said plan was quickly aborted in favor of nachos, but the next day I was watching Roseanne and Stevie popped up again, as Becky's boif Jimmy, like a sign from the God of All Things Nineties.

I am pedo for him back then and the opposite of pedo for him now, since he's older than me. Which I guess just means I want to hit it and who doesn't, look how fine dude is. He's one of those people that "shirts" shouldn't apply to. In fact, let's all take our shirts off, in honor of Stephen Dorff Day (every day for S.D.). Fuck yeah, Stephen Dorff.

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