Thursday, March 31, 2011

Ssssecrets

I love musicals. If this makes me a gay man, then I'm here and I'm queer because I mean fucking LOVE. No one believes me when I tell them this and I guess I can see why since I have no explanation myself. But singing and dancing and jazz hands? LOVE.

I really don't think anyone gets how many musicals I have attended in my 29 years thus far, so I'll go ahead and name them. Bear in mind that these are only the ones I remember, cause my brain cells are fighting a losing battle over here. Some deserved sidenotes, and the ones marked with a * I attended with my ex-gay-boyfriend who broke up with me last Summer because I ate shrooms (that he gave me) at a renaissance faire we went to for his birthday. True story.

Cabaret
A Chorus Line All time favorite. There is a song in it called "Tits & Ass"!! That I knew all the lyrics to by the time I was 10. Quality parenting, mom and dad. 
Phantom of the Opera* Does anyone else have phantom fantasies? PHANTASIES. There has got to be a chat room for this.
Guys & Dolls
Bye Bye Birdie
Hello, Dolly!
Into The Woods
The King & I Acted in this bitch when I was in elementary school. Played an Oriental. Haha no I didn't, that's racist. Played a gook.
Little Shop of Horrors Okay, so not everyone shares my love of musical theater, like an ex boif of mine that I tried to trick into watching "Sweeney Todd" and he straight up made me walk the movie back to the video store and return it, but I really don't think it's humanly possible to hate LSOH. It's about a giant man-eating fucking venus fly trap! And the movie stars Rick Moranis! And why is there no "Spaceballs" the musical?? WTF Mel Brooks, round up your Jew Crew and make that shit happen.
Man of La Mancha
The Music Man
A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To The Forum
42 Street* Front row.
Rocky Horror Picture Show A few years ago, Gandy and I went to a movie showing of this in Chelsea. We were not aware that a bunch of high school kids were going to be in front of the screen acting the entire thing out, so we ran across the street to Trailer Park bar and convinced them to sell us reinforcement booze. The rest of the evening's events are hazy and may or may not have ended with me tackling one of the "players" as they ran down an aisle. Theater kids. Shudder.
Fiddler On The Roof
Sweet Charity* This is the funnest shit to dance to, ever. Believe.
West Side Story Sharks! Jets! My dad used to snap his fingers and sing and dance to this to embarrass me when I was in jr. high at the mall and shit, which my friends found hilarious and pretty much made me want to die from embarrassment. Quality parenting.
Camelot More like snoozical.
Lion King* Fun fact- I was supposed to get a bro tat with Shanon the night we had tickets to this and I told her I'd leave at intermission to come meet her. Is it my fault that that show is freaking awesome and so I drank whiskey at intermission instead of leaving and so only one of us has a feather tattooed on their wrist that looks like a baboon's butthole? I think not.
Hair Hippies can seriously suck it. That being said, I'm pretty sure that last night Chris made me pinky promise to go camping at a jam band festival this summer. Damn you, booze, and your powers of persuasion.  
Chicago Okay, I haven't technically "seen" Chicago live, but buying the DVD was one of the best things that has ever happened to me and Gandy and you are hearing lies if you hear otherwise.
Xanadu* Few people can claim they saw Xanadu on Broadway and actually sat on the stage during the performance and was a part of the show and they gave you glowsticks and told you to dance at certain parts and yell things at other parts while actors zoomed by on rollerskates. While tripping out. I am one of those few.

2 comments:

  1. GONNA RULE 3 NIGHTS OF CAMPING HIPPIE MAYHEM

    ReplyDelete
  2. Buns, are you using a musical blog to talk about burning mang?

    ReplyDelete