Tuesday, May 10, 2011

O HAI BROG

Well it seems I almost forgot that I am the 2nd mommy to this blog. I haven't written anything in about a month? Yeah, let's go with that one. Here are some things I did in the month of April.

- Almost burned my ex-boifs apt down. Listen - who's fault is it that the only ashtray on the balcony was an old Vans shoes? Not Shannie's fault, I'll tell you that. The funny thing is we left for dinner right after I smoked a cig and actually witnessed the fire trucks heading to the scene. I remember this because we both got annoyed with how fucking loud it was. 10 minutes later he got the call. Now I'm in the hole $175 which is apparently what half of a new door costs after the fire department busts it down.

- Had sex in a hallway. JK, he had whiskey dick.

- Got so drunk from a wine tasting in Sonoma that I threw up all over a very nice restaurant's ladies room. To be fair, I was not aware of the no chilling in a jacuzzi while wasted rule. Apparently I am the only one who thought that the sign which says "No Alcohol" was only there because breaking glasses around a hot tub is difficult to clean. Which it is. So my reasoning was not so far off the mark.

- Got cut off at a bar for the first time. I've been kicked out of bars tons, but cut off and allowed to stay while my friends still got to drink? Virgin territory! This was later in the evening following the throwing up story, btw. Nicky and Chris cured me (thanks, guys) and the cycle started all over again. Such is life.

- Made out with a client. When will I ever learn? NEVER.

- Went salmon fishing at 5 in the morning in Santa Cruz. I caught a 16-pounder then grilled it up for a bunch of fixed gear free style riders who's average age was hmmm, probably about 19. Cooking for young shit heads is not enjoyable. When I was that age the only food that interested me was the free kind, so I guess in that sense they were stoked, but did they APPRECIATE the idea of eating food caught just that morning? No they did not. Shit heads.

- Saw some Mexican wrestling. Meh.

- Left a waiter my phone number on a dinner receipt (which I also kissed and left a red lipstick mark on). He did not call me.

- Speaking of fixie shit heads, I also went to the largest fixed gear competition to date. I am now obsessed. Here is a great trailer for a video that my buddies made, along with another video that is rad.

And I sincerely apologize for neglecting my beloved blog.



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